Groupism..

Just when you think that the sail's been set smooth and the gust of wind has finally been caught for a speedy underway, in it's often so innocuous way, disparity seems to set in which suddenly seems to rock your boat.

I really do fail to understand the why's and the what's of an entity's dynamics which supports and hopes to thrive on setting people out into groups and then letting them be, as is often the case when kids are selecting amongst themselves for a match of cricket. While the team is being set out, each one of us fervently prays to get chosen before the rest, to become a part of something "glorious" while the underdogs see the resigned look when cold calculating eyes are appraising to which one out of the stock would cause minimum damage.

While in adulthood, this sort of a pyramid is still followed; often at times certain wildflowers are shunned away into a certain corner, the feeling being that they obviously belong together.

An unfair decision some might cry out in indignation, while others might simply say its the natural course of actions. Either way, it is quite annoying and most certainly extremely unsettling.

Resolve to keep that resolution...

It’s that time of the year, when everyone is planning how to improve themselves for the new year. This post is dedicated to new year’s resolution, but what about those of us who have no interest in bettering ourselves in '10 and do not really see a reason to start now in 2100?

Maybe you’re lazy or just perfect. If a traditional new year’s resolution doesn’t strike your fancy, why not consider a different kind of challenge? Try out one of these magnificently self-destructive new year’s resolutions and be on your way to an epically disastrous new year.

Typical Resolution: Lose weight or get in shape
Deliciously destructive alternative: Gain 200 lbs in 12 months
Why: Because it tastes good






















Typical Resolution: Find true love
Deliciously destructive alternative: Become the evil one in a toxic relationship
Why: Bad boys and girls get laid more.


















Typical Resolution: Save money or get out of debt
Deliciously destructive alternative: Live way, way, wayyyy beyond your means
Why: Because you know Obama or your dad will bail you out
















Typical Resolution: Spend more time with your family
Deliciously destructive alternative: Spend more time with your secretary
Why: Sex, why else? (do you really need another reason after this one!!)

One Drunken Night...

The one glance, the one look, the one moment when my world shook made me realize what we mistook while setting our life afoot. As she breezed by my mind went numb, the din dropped down and I just shook.
It's been a long time since we both took our future, our lives to be the story of a book. My dear, oh dear I am a big fool to still think of you and the way you looked.
As I stared in your eyes, and felt your heartbeat the joyous world was all upbeat. Little did I know what life had in store and how everything would just become just another chore. Now the world's at my feet but it's my heart that still beats for the one that left me incomplete.
Your touch, your smile would light up a fire, growing old by your side was all that I desired. But fate transpired fuelling my fire leaving my life in a state of mire. You were not to be mine was God's design and while I looked on you just went off fine.

Chances Given...

So as life would have it, I am one of those who's not known to give up till my battery of effort is exhausted completely and then some more. And as fate would have it in the recent past my efforts have led me to two distinct discoveries, both leading to a completely changed perspectives.
The one thing that you didn't like and openly declared you wouldn't do cause it was simply desestable to your taste is now fast becoming a fond reality. Opposed to the one thing that was professed to be an unconditional love is speeding towards becoming a faded memory.
What's ironic about this entire situation is that it is the same series of events that have led to this discovery of opposing nature.
Makes me really think about how frivolous our emotions and feelings are no matter how adamant we say to "no" to the change around us, a morning will most certainly come when our thoughts would transcend across the opposing boundaries and pitch us across on the other side of the playing field.

For All Those Times Things Are Left Unsaid...

In 10th Grade...
As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called “best friend”. I stared at her long, silky hair; wanting to run my hands through those locks and wished she was mine. But she didn’t notice me like that, and I knew it.
After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before, shy hands fleetingly touched as I handed her the notebooks. She said “thanks” and shook hand with me.
I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends, that I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.

In 11th Grade...
The phone rang. On the other end, was my beloved, in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over not wanting to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine.
After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. As she looked at me, saying “thanks” giving me that heart wrenching sweet smile, I want to tell her, I want her to know that I didn't want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.


In 12th Grade...
The day before farewell she walked upto me. “My boyfriend is sick” she said; he’s not going to go. For me, well I didn’t have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as “best friends”.
So we did!
After a perfect evening, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step! I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I wanted her to be mine, but she isn’t think of me like that, and I knew it.
Then she said “I had the best time, thanks!” and gave me that sweet smile of hers. Oh, but I want to tell her, I wanted her to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.


On Graduation Day...
A day passed, and then a week, then a month turned to years. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect form floated like an angel up on stage to get her felicitation. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn’t notice me like that, and I knew it.
Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, “You’re my best friend, thanks”. I wanted to tell her, I wanted her to know that I didn’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.


A Few Years Later...
Now I stand in the lawn gazing... That girl is getting married. I watched her, as she shyly went through the religious ceremonies and drove off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn`t see me like that, and I knew it.
But before she drove away, she came to me and said “you came!” She said “thanks” and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I didn’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.

Funeral...
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my “best friend”. At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years.
This is what it read:
"I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn’t notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love him but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me!"

I wish I did too… I thought to myself, and I cried.

Sharing a bit at a time...

"I don't understand these moods that you're getting into."
"They're my moods, okay! You want to understand moods, have one of your own!"

Random Rantings...

If you are confident, they will say you are arrogant.
If you are deliberate, they will say you are too sure of yourself.
If you have a sense of purpose, they will say you are self-absorbed.
If you know who you are, they will ask, “Who are you, anyway?”
If you believe in kindness and compassion, they will say you are naïve.
If you are a dreamer, they will say “join the real world.”
If you are a rebel, they will try to shut you down.
The instructions include:
rein it in
slow it down
wait it out
pull it back
take your time
play it safe

But you will know:
They are envious because they want what you have.
They are afraid of change even as they crave it.
They are projecting their own regret into resentment of you.
It’s not all bad news: some of them will sort themselves out and end up joining you. Because you are a good person and have had plenty of false starts of your own, you’ll understand and welcome them warmly. We’ve missed you! you’ll say. It’s about time you made it.
As for the others, well, you will remember what Gandhi said:
“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.”

...

Not an original composition.. not one bit.. so wanted this to get straightened out before I am accused of plagiarism..

Hanging on
Here until Im gone
Right where I belong
Just hanging on

Even though
I watched you come and go
How was I to know
Youd still show

One day ill have enough to get more
Ill wait to hear your final call
Hanging on

Hanging on
Here until Im gone
Right where I belong
Just hanging on


Even though
Passed the time alone
Soon were so unknown
It heals the soul

Youll ask if the walls are building higher
Well light the shadows of them all
Id stand but theyre much too usefull
And I fall

February stars!
Floating in the dark!
Temporary stars!
February stars!

A Story Left Incomplete or Advaita Finally Achieved?

It is strangely overwhelming how people suddenly come into your life and create a life long impact. I have come to realize, the time spend with the person has nothing to do with the attachment binding the people together.

Today has been a sad day for a fraternity and personally for me as well. Nandu Narsimhan, a colleague, a respected senior, a mentor and a friend decided to leave us all behind. In the past few months Nandu was often talking about going to a better place, I guess his wish really was heard. The man who introduced me to the concept of Advaita and made me want to live the philosophy finally achieved what he aspired for.

I do want to write so much more over here, but then the thoughts are so muddled over your sudden and unexpected departure that my usually lucid brain seems to be befuddled with chaotic thoughts.

Nandu Sir, you will be sorely missed time and again. I hope your soul is in that better place we all want to eventually go to. I also pray for your family and believe that God will give them strength to move forward and soar to the heights you wanted them to go to.

My stab at being a copywriter...

Today when we talk of India, we no longer discuss the future of India. We say the future is India.

India is surging ahead and showing the way to rest of the world.
India, the youngest nation led by a majority of passionate citizens.
India, a global nation, filled with second highest number of English speaking people.
India, a land of opportunities coupled with entrepreneurial spirit enabling majority of its people to be self employed.
India, a land of the erstwhile Dollar Dreams is now employing an ever increasing number of expats.
India, the land of outsourcing, coming to a full circle by creating employment offshore.
India, the land of bullock carts and potholes now has amongst the largest numbers of Billionaires.
India, the land of snake charmers and swamis has now emerged as a thought leader in technology.
India, the land which transcended poverty and urban culture to emerge as a sporting nation


So I am here to not tell you what you already must have read or heard insurmountable times…
The time for India is now and no one knows this better than us…
India is unstoppable and the land of infinite opportunities.

Oh what a Monday...

Manic Monday, the song sung out doesn't even come close to the incredibly and utterly horrible start to the day I had.
Well, the day began at an unholy hour when the alarm chimed its enthusiastic self at 0415 hours, yes, you got that right, at 4bloody’o clock in the morning; a groaning self woke up wondering WTF is wrong with the world to make you get up so early. Little did I suspect that this in fact is the high point of the day!
So trying to ignore the buzz through my head, I get ready, not wanting to keep the cab driver waiting. HAH! The alleged waiting would happen only if he would have arrived in the first place!! Apparently the competency required to book even a simple cab is amiss amongst the chosen few for the job! At 5, feeling a bit jittery I called up the cab agency only to find out that the cab is scheduled to arrive on time, except that the time is 4.45 in the evening, not morning! Yes, this is what I call as a wtfmonday! After frantic calls to numerous cab companies, being greeted in an incomprehensible morning mumble, my desperate pleas were heard by a saviour. So a cab booked, although a bit late made me feel a bit comfortable, slightly elated about the small personal victory I had just achieved.
After an uneventful ride to the airport, I arrived upon a sea of people; it felt like a mass exodus, like the time of partition, with people racing against all odds to reach across to safety. Standing in the check in line, with hurried glances to my watch every few seconds made me reach the counter, greeted by a hassled and embarrassed ground staff. “Sorry sir, the flight is full, you are late!” Say whaaat? Lady, its 50 mins to the flight take off, are you for real? Typical nuisance of capitalism, over booking and making a profit! So there I was stunned, zapped and such being told to wait. Thus ensued a conversation ranging from threatening notes to pleading for help. After a battle of wits, thankfully I was transferred to another flight which was due to take off 10 mins later. “Score!” Is what went through the back of my mind.
Rushing to the security check, I was greeted by what can be referred to as a “Langar!”; a free meal that is given in Hindu temples and Gurudwaras, where one and all queue up for a free meal. It actually seemed like the airlines had distributed free air tickets and everyone decided this was the time they wanted to travel. After standing in the queue of about 1973 people, the CRPF (a note to the unwary, they are the security personnel guarding all airports in India) personnel decided that their shift had ended, without caring about the relieving officer to come and replace them. “Yes, my workers union rocks, I can simply leave when my work is done, who the hell are you to judge me!” The grumbles quite soon reached a crescendo and pretty soon the harassed and grumpy guards had to come again. “Yes, there is a God!”
Clearing the security check, I donned the avatar of Usain Bolt, quite literally bolting to board my flight. Fortunately I had fellow passengers, suffering the same woes as myself. Boarding the flight, which a slight sheen of sweat, which was more to do with the mind than the physical exertion I started searching for my seat. Finally, some respite and an easy breathe.” No, my son, not so soon”, was what fate was telling me. At the farthest corner of the plane, I got middle seats, the chair was the one which did not recline and to boot it up, I was seated between two blobs of mass whose flesh was spilling from all sides. This was to be one hell of a journey.
On the bright side, having such a harrowing start to the day, the regular fuck ups that happen every day seem not even glance worthy. So far so good (or bad!), I am now just waiting to end the day with a glass of rum and some nice retro music. (Please hear me God!)

So much has changed...

I realized I have not had a chance to pen down anything in way too long a time. Can't really still come to terms with how much how life has changed in the past couple of years. The speed at which my life, my work, my entire thought process has changed leaves my dizzy, now that I have had a moment to reflect back on it.

The changes which come into our life, forced or otherwise; after a conscious decision mould us into the individuals we are. It is indeed up to us to have a control over most of our life, however there are some diversions which come along the way, steering us into a particular direction. Destiny, if you must call it. Destiny often leaves us overwhelmed, which is a natural reaction but dealing with it in the most positive manner takes conscious discipline. Now, I will not go onto say that I have mastered this, saying so would mean one has reached a state of self actuation and I am literally quite far away from that.

But what I have realized is that, no matter what happens, do not lose the sight of your ultimate goal, whatever it might be. Getting bogged down happens to the best of us, but getting back on one's feet to head "full steam ahead" is the important thing. Why I say this right now, is primarily due to the fact that I am faced with a similar situation, which is worsened due to the fact that I do not really know what precisely is wrong. Yet, there is an increasingly gnawing feeling, incessant and growing, like a miasma, spreading its roots within while outwardly there is a calm. I do not mean to sound like a melancholic soul right now, in fact quite the opposite, most of the time that is.

I started my post with the intent of writing something and ended up ranting about something else altogether. Right now would be a good opportunity to reflect back and align thoughts in a manner which would at least help define what the cause of such feelings might be. That would be a step in the direction of setting the course right... I hope..

An ode to beer...

My creativity in the "arty" department is limited would be a very mild description on how my brain leans towards that particular area of expertise... but then there are always exceptions and my love and devotion to a most brilliant invention by man; has inspired me to come up with a piece of genius...
Oh glorious beer, Oh frothy pint
With body gold and head so white
Please don’t make me pick a fight
And help me be witty on Ladies’ Night

Oh glorious beer, ‘neath heavenly foam
Don’t let me pass out too far from home
And if I am rude as I drunkenly roam
Don’t let them harm this wee beer-buzzed gnome

Oh glorious beer, Oh frothy pint
Bestow on me thine amber light
Give me slurred speech and blurry sight
But help me o' help me from hugging the toilet tonight

An Ode for My Alarm Clock

Monday mornings, glorious Monday freaking mornings have inspired me to pen down my first attempt at word play and rhyme..

Every morning I lie there innocently sleeping
When the peace is ruptured by a horrible beeping.
My serenity ripped asunder, sudden and drastic
By this evil, demonic, red-eyed piece of plastic.

I roll over in pain and pound on the snooze,
Groaning, moaning, thinking "What's there to lose?"
"Don't make me get up, just nine minutes more."
The same thing I've said every morning before.

It's not that I hate mornings or dread the new day.
It's just that I loathe waking up in this way.
I'd much rather simply rise up with the light,
Glowing in the window, chasing away the night.

But the sudden screaming, the incessant fuss,
Makes me want to yell and cry and simply to cuss.
Especially the knowledge that all of my sorrow
Will be repeated the same time, same way, tomorrow.