For All Those Times Things Are Left Unsaid...

In 10th Grade...
As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called “best friend”. I stared at her long, silky hair; wanting to run my hands through those locks and wished she was mine. But she didn’t notice me like that, and I knew it.
After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before, shy hands fleetingly touched as I handed her the notebooks. She said “thanks” and shook hand with me.
I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends, that I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.

In 11th Grade...
The phone rang. On the other end, was my beloved, in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over not wanting to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine.
After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. As she looked at me, saying “thanks” giving me that heart wrenching sweet smile, I want to tell her, I want her to know that I didn't want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.


In 12th Grade...
The day before farewell she walked upto me. “My boyfriend is sick” she said; he’s not going to go. For me, well I didn’t have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as “best friends”.
So we did!
After a perfect evening, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step! I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I wanted her to be mine, but she isn’t think of me like that, and I knew it.
Then she said “I had the best time, thanks!” and gave me that sweet smile of hers. Oh, but I want to tell her, I wanted her to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.


On Graduation Day...
A day passed, and then a week, then a month turned to years. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect form floated like an angel up on stage to get her felicitation. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn’t notice me like that, and I knew it.
Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, “You’re my best friend, thanks”. I wanted to tell her, I wanted her to know that I didn’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.


A Few Years Later...
Now I stand in the lawn gazing... That girl is getting married. I watched her, as she shyly went through the religious ceremonies and drove off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn`t see me like that, and I knew it.
But before she drove away, she came to me and said “you came!” She said “thanks” and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I didn’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.

Funeral...
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my “best friend”. At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years.
This is what it read:
"I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn’t notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love him but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me!"

I wish I did too… I thought to myself, and I cried.