Groupism..

Just when you think that the sail's been set smooth and the gust of wind has finally been caught for a speedy underway, in it's often so innocuous way, disparity seems to set in which suddenly seems to rock your boat.

I really do fail to understand the why's and the what's of an entity's dynamics which supports and hopes to thrive on setting people out into groups and then letting them be, as is often the case when kids are selecting amongst themselves for a match of cricket. While the team is being set out, each one of us fervently prays to get chosen before the rest, to become a part of something "glorious" while the underdogs see the resigned look when cold calculating eyes are appraising to which one out of the stock would cause minimum damage.

While in adulthood, this sort of a pyramid is still followed; often at times certain wildflowers are shunned away into a certain corner, the feeling being that they obviously belong together.

An unfair decision some might cry out in indignation, while others might simply say its the natural course of actions. Either way, it is quite annoying and most certainly extremely unsettling.

Resolve to keep that resolution...

It’s that time of the year, when everyone is planning how to improve themselves for the new year. This post is dedicated to new year’s resolution, but what about those of us who have no interest in bettering ourselves in '10 and do not really see a reason to start now in 2100?

Maybe you’re lazy or just perfect. If a traditional new year’s resolution doesn’t strike your fancy, why not consider a different kind of challenge? Try out one of these magnificently self-destructive new year’s resolutions and be on your way to an epically disastrous new year.

Typical Resolution: Lose weight or get in shape
Deliciously destructive alternative: Gain 200 lbs in 12 months
Why: Because it tastes good






















Typical Resolution: Find true love
Deliciously destructive alternative: Become the evil one in a toxic relationship
Why: Bad boys and girls get laid more.


















Typical Resolution: Save money or get out of debt
Deliciously destructive alternative: Live way, way, wayyyy beyond your means
Why: Because you know Obama or your dad will bail you out
















Typical Resolution: Spend more time with your family
Deliciously destructive alternative: Spend more time with your secretary
Why: Sex, why else? (do you really need another reason after this one!!)

One Drunken Night...

The one glance, the one look, the one moment when my world shook made me realize what we mistook while setting our life afoot. As she breezed by my mind went numb, the din dropped down and I just shook.
It's been a long time since we both took our future, our lives to be the story of a book. My dear, oh dear I am a big fool to still think of you and the way you looked.
As I stared in your eyes, and felt your heartbeat the joyous world was all upbeat. Little did I know what life had in store and how everything would just become just another chore. Now the world's at my feet but it's my heart that still beats for the one that left me incomplete.
Your touch, your smile would light up a fire, growing old by your side was all that I desired. But fate transpired fuelling my fire leaving my life in a state of mire. You were not to be mine was God's design and while I looked on you just went off fine.

Chances Given...

So as life would have it, I am one of those who's not known to give up till my battery of effort is exhausted completely and then some more. And as fate would have it in the recent past my efforts have led me to two distinct discoveries, both leading to a completely changed perspectives.
The one thing that you didn't like and openly declared you wouldn't do cause it was simply desestable to your taste is now fast becoming a fond reality. Opposed to the one thing that was professed to be an unconditional love is speeding towards becoming a faded memory.
What's ironic about this entire situation is that it is the same series of events that have led to this discovery of opposing nature.
Makes me really think about how frivolous our emotions and feelings are no matter how adamant we say to "no" to the change around us, a morning will most certainly come when our thoughts would transcend across the opposing boundaries and pitch us across on the other side of the playing field.

For All Those Times Things Are Left Unsaid...

In 10th Grade...
As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called “best friend”. I stared at her long, silky hair; wanting to run my hands through those locks and wished she was mine. But she didn’t notice me like that, and I knew it.
After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before, shy hands fleetingly touched as I handed her the notebooks. She said “thanks” and shook hand with me.
I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends, that I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.

In 11th Grade...
The phone rang. On the other end, was my beloved, in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over not wanting to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine.
After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. As she looked at me, saying “thanks” giving me that heart wrenching sweet smile, I want to tell her, I want her to know that I didn't want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.


In 12th Grade...
The day before farewell she walked upto me. “My boyfriend is sick” she said; he’s not going to go. For me, well I didn’t have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as “best friends”.
So we did!
After a perfect evening, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step! I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I wanted her to be mine, but she isn’t think of me like that, and I knew it.
Then she said “I had the best time, thanks!” and gave me that sweet smile of hers. Oh, but I want to tell her, I wanted her to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.


On Graduation Day...
A day passed, and then a week, then a month turned to years. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect form floated like an angel up on stage to get her felicitation. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn’t notice me like that, and I knew it.
Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, “You’re my best friend, thanks”. I wanted to tell her, I wanted her to know that I didn’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.


A Few Years Later...
Now I stand in the lawn gazing... That girl is getting married. I watched her, as she shyly went through the religious ceremonies and drove off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn`t see me like that, and I knew it.
But before she drove away, she came to me and said “you came!” She said “thanks” and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I didn’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.

Funeral...
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my “best friend”. At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years.
This is what it read:
"I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn’t notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love him but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me!"

I wish I did too… I thought to myself, and I cried.

Sharing a bit at a time...

"I don't understand these moods that you're getting into."
"They're my moods, okay! You want to understand moods, have one of your own!"

Random Rantings...

If you are confident, they will say you are arrogant.
If you are deliberate, they will say you are too sure of yourself.
If you have a sense of purpose, they will say you are self-absorbed.
If you know who you are, they will ask, “Who are you, anyway?”
If you believe in kindness and compassion, they will say you are naïve.
If you are a dreamer, they will say “join the real world.”
If you are a rebel, they will try to shut you down.
The instructions include:
rein it in
slow it down
wait it out
pull it back
take your time
play it safe

But you will know:
They are envious because they want what you have.
They are afraid of change even as they crave it.
They are projecting their own regret into resentment of you.
It’s not all bad news: some of them will sort themselves out and end up joining you. Because you are a good person and have had plenty of false starts of your own, you’ll understand and welcome them warmly. We’ve missed you! you’ll say. It’s about time you made it.
As for the others, well, you will remember what Gandhi said:
“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.”