An ode to beer...

My creativity in the "arty" department is limited would be a very mild description on how my brain leans towards that particular area of expertise... but then there are always exceptions and my love and devotion to a most brilliant invention by man; has inspired me to come up with a piece of genius...
Oh glorious beer, Oh frothy pint
With body gold and head so white
Please don’t make me pick a fight
And help me be witty on Ladies’ Night

Oh glorious beer, ‘neath heavenly foam
Don’t let me pass out too far from home
And if I am rude as I drunkenly roam
Don’t let them harm this wee beer-buzzed gnome

Oh glorious beer, Oh frothy pint
Bestow on me thine amber light
Give me slurred speech and blurry sight
But help me o' help me from hugging the toilet tonight

An Ode for My Alarm Clock

Monday mornings, glorious Monday freaking mornings have inspired me to pen down my first attempt at word play and rhyme..

Every morning I lie there innocently sleeping
When the peace is ruptured by a horrible beeping.
My serenity ripped asunder, sudden and drastic
By this evil, demonic, red-eyed piece of plastic.

I roll over in pain and pound on the snooze,
Groaning, moaning, thinking "What's there to lose?"
"Don't make me get up, just nine minutes more."
The same thing I've said every morning before.

It's not that I hate mornings or dread the new day.
It's just that I loathe waking up in this way.
I'd much rather simply rise up with the light,
Glowing in the window, chasing away the night.

But the sudden screaming, the incessant fuss,
Makes me want to yell and cry and simply to cuss.
Especially the knowledge that all of my sorrow
Will be repeated the same time, same way, tomorrow.